Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Tuesday Ten: I've got the heebie-jeebies

This week was supposed to be "things that make me feel like vomiting", but my dear sister Megan chickened out after her list made her feel like vomiting. So now we are listing things that give us the willies instead. Which is fine. Or would be if I hadn't already thought of NINE things that make me feel ill. I have since thought of another so I have TEN gross things wheeling around in my head, making me dizzy.

Therefore I have decided that not only will I list 10 things that creep me out, I will also list 10 things that make me want to vomit. Hurl. Blow Chunks. Toss my cookies. Spew. Heave. Lose my lunch. Yeah, puke.

Ten Things That Give Me The Heebie-Jeebies


1. Spiders. Or bugs of any kind. I realize that technically spiders are not bugs, but for this purpose, they are. Especially those ginormous garden spiders.

2. Cleaning the soap dish. Congealed soap is just gross. Occasionally I have to check on the kid's bathroom to make sure it is getting cleaned properly (it isn't) and I will end up cleaning the gooey soap off the soap dish. Yuck.

3. Hotel rooms. Clean looking or not, they still...well, just yuck. I don't want to think about it.

4. Avocados. I am not a fan of most green food, and this is one of the worst. Green and slimy. Nasty. I don't have to know what they taste like to know I don't like them.

5. Scary movies. A different kind of creepy, and I can't watch them. No Hannibal, no Freddy, no Chucky. I did watch Children of the Corn many years ago and that cured me of scary movies FOREVER. And ever and ever and ever. Amen.

6. Bad teeth. I always look at people's teeth, I can't help it. Some people should brush more often, I am thinking. Do you think I should mention it to them? Heh heh.

7. Chalk. Not the little stick kind, as long as it is smooth, I am talking about the block kind they use in gymnastics. My daughter rubs her hands with it all the time at the gym and it sends chills down my spine. I can't stand the feel of chalk.

8. Eating noises. Or mouth noises in general. I can't stand sitting next to someone who is eating. Namely my husband. He isn't gross or rude, I am just...sensitive. If there is enough background noise in the room, it doesn't bother me. Just if it is quiet or we are sitting together watching tv.

9. Dirty hands. If I work in the dirt I MUST wear gloves. All the cement work I am doing would not be possible without gloves. I only need to think about getting dirt on my hands and I start clenching them and rubbing my fingers on my palms.

10. Me. I am truly weird. Staring at people's teeth? Needing to leave the room when my husband is having a snack? Can't get dirt on my hands? Creepy. I may as well check myself in to a mental institution right now.



If you don't want to read about what makes me feel ill, please feel free to stop reading now. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, grow up, it isn't going to be THAT bad.

Ten Things That Make Me Feel Like Vomiting


1. Many, many foods. I could probably use up all ten items on food alone, so I will stick them all under one: Chili, spaghetti, soft cheeses (they taste like horse sweat), braunschweiger, avocados, mushrooms, squash, any cooked vegetable except corn and potatoes (they are too vegetables), oh, lordy, I could go on and on and on. So I won't.

2. Sharing forks or straws. With anyone, including my husband. I have to wipe it off on a napkin. Especially if there is any food left on it. I think it is an aversion to saliva that isn't mine. Excuse me while I go throw up.

3. Cleaning hair out of the shower drain. I'm not looking...I'm not looking.

4. Hearing someone else vomit. My husband was sick a few years back so he decided to go watch a movie in the living room while I lay in bed reading. Pretty soon he came running back and into the bathroom to throw up. I had to hide my head under my pillow and sing "la la la la la la" really loud so I could keep from joining him.

5. Pepto Bismol. When I was a little girl and I had a stomach ache or felt sick, my mother would give me Pepto Bismol. If I hadn't already thrown up, I for sure did then. It seems after the first time or so my mother would have gotten the idea that it was working the opposite way intended, but no. I will not touch that stuff with a ten foot pole.

6. Child molesters. I would like to throw up ON these monsters and then castrate them with a pair of hedge clippers.

7. Public speaking. I prefer to sit in the audience, thank you. I am shy and don't do well speaking in groups of more than one person. Counting myself.

8. Merry-go-rounds. I can't even watch a merry-go-round. It makes me dizzy. Riding on one is a hundred times worse. Urp.

9. Cleaning old leftovers out of the refrigerator. I know I am not the only person in the world that leaves things in the refrigerator until they are unrecognizable. Dang if I can't get through one stinking post without having to spell refrigerator.

10. Gross crusty socks in the laundry. It wouldn't be so bad if people would uncrumple their own crusty socks. But NO, they have to throw them into the basket all in a ball and I have to undo them so they can get clean. Yuck.

Well, that was liberating. Excuse me now while I go throw up. Hurl. Blow Chunks. Toss my cookies. Spew. Heave. Lose my lunch. Yeah, puke.


Cathy's Tuesday Ten list
Megan's Tuesday Ten list

2 comments:

Cathy said...

Children of the Corn did me in too. Remember watching it as Dad's???? "Maaaa-lachiiii!"

Then I watched it again years later. It's really (excuse me)....corny.

LOL

Irie said...

I think I watched it with you both... at least the beginning of the movie. What's scarier than watching a horror movie when you are ten? Watching a horror movie with your older, braver sisters, and seeing them be freaked out by the movie. I'm scarred (and scared!) for life.