Not only things I thought I wouldn't say, but also things that after I said them I went "Huh?" Or "I can't believe I said that!"
Ten Things I Never Thought I Would Say
1. "That looks like a footprint up there on the wall." Kids old enough to leave home alone do funny things sometimes. I prefer to remain blind to some of it. So long as they remain somewhat decorous, and don't destroy things or hurt people then I don't mind. Or rather, I like the alternative even less, which is staying at home all the time.
2. "Please don't use the egg washing sponge to wash the dishes." Yeah. Moving on.
3. " How old are you? How old is he/she?" So help me God, I vowed that I would never say this as long as I had a breath left in my body. Somehow I became possessed by my mother briefly and it slipped out. Never again.
4. "I have blood all over my glasses." Chickens flap around quit a bit after I, well, you know. I got pretty good at getting out of the way after a while.
5. "Heeeey-ay! Not 'posed to shirt peo-PUL!" OK, this wasn't me, but my now 8 year old used to say this in many variations when he was much littler and someone was bothering him. (In this case someone was hitting him with a shirt) We say it all the time now just to tease him. Feel sorry for him, would you? Because we don't.
6. I had to tell my mom when my grandma (her mom) passed away. My mom was visiting us from Minnesota but out with some friends when my aunt called with the very unexpected news. When my mom got back, I had to tell her. That was hard.
7. "Sure, go ahead and leave for 2 1/2 weeks. No problem." He took the oldest 2 kids with him for part of that time. We survived; that's about all I can say about that.
8. "No more babies!" I really, really never thought I would say this. Why say no to babies? What did they ever do to me? I'll take as many as I can! Fast forward 7 or 8 years...I'm TIRED. No more. If I turn up pregnant, trust me it wasn't planned.
Note: Unfortunately, I never had anyone ask me if any of my pregnancies was an accident. I have always wanted to say "YES! I was just laying there on the bed and my husband came in from the shower and he just tripped and fell on me! I hate it when that happens!"
9. "Your sandwich is not a weapon." I have 5 boys. Everything can be turned into some kind of weapon.
10. "Please stop sleeping with your socks." My youngest daughter keeps taking all of her socks out of the drawer and sleeping with them. And stuffing them in her hats and purses and putting them in the toy box. Stop! She has toys but she wants to play with her socks. Stop it, I say!
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