Henrietta
Since Cathy now has chickens, that is all she wants to talk about. In an effort to get this out of her system, we are doing a Tuesday Ten about chickens. For myself, I am a little more relaxed about chickens having had them for almost four years, but I understand since I was a new chicken owner once. Plus I like chickens and I like talking about them.
*Pardon all my horrible blurry chicken pictures but that is all I can manage with my crappy camera. Soon I am going to have complained long enough to my husband about wanting a nicer digital camera, and he will break down and tell me to buy one. Then I will be able to take nice non-blurry chicken pictures. Oh, and better pictures of my kids, which would be the main purpose of having a new camera.
1. Chickens do not make good house pets. They are messy animals and don't house train well (see #10). I cannot think of one good reason to let a chicken in your house. I realize that people do this--they put little "chicken diapers" on the chickens and let them inside, but those people are deranged. Chickens belong outside where there are bugs and grass. And places to poop.
2. Chickens will survive if they have to be outside in 19 degree weather. Don't worry, they will be fine. They don't mind a little cold (see #10). A little place to roost is nice so they don't get stuck to the ground in the ice. Cuz they don't stop poopin' when they start sleepin'---warm poop, cold ground, chicken feet...nevermind. If you can't sleep, run an extension cord out to their coop with a light bulb. Don't run them in and out of your garage every night and morning, almost killing yourself when you slip on the deck. Aren't there chickens in colder climates than ours? Wisconsin? Northern Minnesota? Nunavut? Hmmm? What do you suppose they are eating for breakfast with their caribou sausage? Eggs.
3. On the other hand, chickens will not survive without food and water. They can't fill their feed and water dishes themselves (see #10). I have had to point this out to my daughter on a number of occasions. Now the rule is feed the chickens before you feed yourself. Amazing how well that works.
4. Fresh eggs are better than store bought eggs. Well, they are. That is why they cost more. Don't try to hard boil fresh eggs, though, since they are impossible to peel. Leave hard boiling for the second rate 6 month old store eggs. Give chickens a little place to run around and some food and water and they will lay eggs. They don't mind at all (see #10).
Also, if you would like to know what it is like to gather eggs in 29 degree weather (with freezing rain) do this: Go to your freezer and get out 8 ice cubes. Put six of them in your pockets and hold the last two in your hands. Go outside and walk around for 2-3 minutes. Go back inside and put down ice cubes. Take ice cubes out of pockets. Shake hands and curse silently (there are children present). Wash hands. Curse (silently) again because water is hot and hands are cold. Wish winter was over.
5. Chicken is a tasty treat. When a chicken stops paying its way by laying eggs (see #10), one option is to make it into a chicken stew. Another option is roast chicken. Or chicken stir fry, chicken pot pie, fried chicken...the possibilities are endless. Actually, if the chicken is old enough to have stopped laying eggs chicken stew or soup is the best choice. It will be too tough and chewy for anything else. That is why we raise broiler chickens for the other chicken dishes. Broiler chickens are young and tender and yummy.6. Any more than one rooster per twelve hens and your hens will not have feathers on their backs. When we first got chickens (and they grew up because we got them when they were tiny chicks) my oldest daughter would ask "Why does the rooster like to sit on the hens?"
Why indeed?
She would look at my few rooster decorations and say "You need one of a rooster sitting on a hen."
No I don't. No pornographic rooster art in my house, thankyouverymuch.
So I explained that the rooster was fertilizing the eggs. She also pointed out that the hen didn't seem to be enjoying it too much. Well, it doesn't happen too often with 1 rooster/12 hens. But with my pen of 8 roosters/13 hens it does, and I really need to get rid of some of the roosters. Or at least move them to another pen. Maybe the one with 0 roosters/17 hens. Or the one with 0 roosters/7 hens. Or the freezer.
7. Pecking order is a real concept. Never move new chickens into an established pen. Bad things will happen. Right now, I have my seven new hens in a wire pen right next to the pen of 21 chickens. They can see each other but not get to each other. This is frustrating the roosters to no end (see #10). The plan is for them to get used to each other then move them together. Pretty crafty, huh?
8. Don't turn your back on a mean rooster. He will run up and spur you. He is just being protective of his territory (see#10). Kick him into next week.
9. "I have always thought chickens were sensual creatures." A quote from the movie I watched with my husband last night. Why I waste my time on such drivel I have no idea. I don't remember who said it or why--it had nothing to do with the plot of the movie--but I thought it was funny. Especially since I was sitting there on the couch with pencil in hand writing down 10 random thoughts about chickens. Personally I don't think chickens have the capacity to be sensual (see #10).
10. The chicken brain is the size of a hazelnut. Food. Water. Poop. Hens-lay a few eggs. Roosters-sit on a few hens and spur people. There is no more room in the brain of a chicken for anything else. "But MY chickens looooove me," you say. "They have their own personalities and they cluck about so excitedly when they see me coming." Whatever. I still say they are dumb. When chickens get all excited when you come to their pen it is because you feed them. Try not feeding them for a while and see what happens. They will forget all about you. My kids are always coming up with elaborate reasons why the chickens do the things they do. I say it is because they have a brain smaller than an eraser. Nope, they can't figure out there are two layers of wire between them and the hens, they can't figure out not to spur the person that has kicked them 5 times in the last week. And they certainly can't reason out that if they lay eggs it will keep them from the stew pot.
I still like it when my chickens run to me when they see me coming. I have no illusions of love--I know they see the feed bucket in my hand. Chickens are fun and easy to keep, and that is why I have them.
Bonus: If it sits still a chicken will poop on it. Anything laying about near where there are chickens will get poop on it. Oh, and don't let them into your flowerbeds or garden if there are small green plants growing there. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Cathy's Thoughts on Chickens
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