1. "Don't sit on the baby." Okay, the fact that I have so many kids probably has something to do with why I have had to say this so many times. It seems like a no brainer to me, but I guess it is hard to remember that babies are breakable. Go figure.
2. "No, your birthday isn't tomorrow. Yes, you can have a pink Build-a-Bear for your birthday. Of course, with a phone." This is since big sister came home with one a week after Christmas, mind you. We have 88 days to go.
3. "When you put trash in the garbage can, please make sure it will stay there when the next person opens the cupboard." Of course the "next person" is usually me, which must be why I have to say this so much. The garbage can doesn't hold an infinite amount of trash, and even more interesting, it doesn't squash the garbage down by itself.
4. "NO." I don't care what you want, or why you want it. No. Stop asking me. You think I don't know why you are asking, so you need to explain it to me--but trust me, I do know why you are asking. And the answer is still no.
5. "Who was the last person to _____?" ...go through the door, ...play with the Legos, ...open the refridgerator, ---fill in the blank. They think I am asking because I don't know. I know all right, and I am just asking so they know I know. And something needs to be done about it quick.
6. "Do your chores." Do your chores. Do your chores. Do your chores. Do your chores. I should just go through the house chanting "Do your chores" every morning. Coming in my room and lolling on the bed until I ask "Have you done your chores?" is not impressing me. Continuing to loll after confirming that you have not done your chores is even more unimpressive. Try to impress me for once and do your chores without being asked. That would be impressive.
By the way, said chores may or may not include (depending on age): brush teeth and hair (if you have any to brush), make bed and straighten room. Wash your own breakfast dish. One person wipes off the table. One person/week cleans the kids' bathroom. Maybe fold some laundry. That's all. Big whoop. It shouldn't take all morning for 3 people to clean one bedroom that is 10'x10', but if that is how you want to spend your time, go for it.
7. "What is that in your mouth?" Closely related to "That's not for babies." Babies put everything in their mouths. Dirt, rocks, legos, gross stuff that I would rather not think about.
8. "Where is the ____?" Not to be confused with what my kids say to me on a regular basis: "I can't find my ____." Then they stand there. As if I know where they stashed their favorite Playmobil guy. Or their shoes. The first question I always ask is "Did you look for it?" Which seems like a silly question, but you would be surprised to know how many times the answer is "no". No, when I ask where something is it is usually because someone used the item (scissors, erasers, timer, pencil sharpener, nail clippers, etc.) and DIDN'T PUT IT AWAY.
9. "Stay away from the computer and television until your schoolwork is done." I am such a spoil sport. How do my kids even bear it? How cruel of me to require that they learn a little math and english before they go play Pac Man on the computer.
10. "If the baby is screaming, it means he doesn't like what you are doing." Is it just me or does it seem glaringly obvious that if a nonverbal child hollers when you are trying to pick him up or take his toys or go "googey" in his face, that he doesn't want you to? I have tried to tell the kids that if he yells then stop but they don't. Of course, the baby may eventually learn that all he needs to do is screech and he gets what he wants, so that can become a problem as well. There must be a better way (aside from forbidding anyone to touch, look at, or communicate in any way with said child). I don't know what it is.
Cathy's Tuesday Ten
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